it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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