Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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