I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My feet surprised me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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