Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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