summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
