Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
