So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
