Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
