I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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