He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
