one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
