I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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