Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
