I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
