i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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