do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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