I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
