??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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