Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
