So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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