I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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