Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
