Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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