That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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