Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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