i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
