So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
