lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
