is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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