My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
