just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
