I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
