the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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