my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
