fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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