So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
