More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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