I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was like eating out sand paper
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
