Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
