Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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