peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
