i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
barbara walters just said penis...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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