No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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