I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
