Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
