I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My penis needs a shock collar
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Randomize
