booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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