i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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