Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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