I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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